12

as you change your focus of attention, from the chocolates to flowers, he instinctively sees your attempt at sugar-coating the fact that he has made the wrong choice of confectionery.

'ah, not a fan of dark choc, i see? i'll make it up to you, later, okay?' his offer is true enough, and you blush again, as you trivialise the chocolate flavour,

'no, no, that's fine,' you quickly think up a redeeming point in his opening gestures 'the roses are more than enough' as you pick one out of the bouquet and give it a smell. they're not plastic, and surprisingly they smell sickly sweet - just the way you like it. it is beyond any doubt that this man is, although slightly cliched, a frequenter of fauna and has demonstrated a surprising amount of aptitude in selecting only the best roses for the bouquet. (add one romance point to your total. if you have not encountered a note such as this before, you start out with 0 points, and now have +1).


as you usher him towards the doorway, you cannot help but think - what other surprises does this man offer? your thoughts are broken by him questioning, 'so, where would you like to be whisked off to, now?'

1. 'hmmm, what say we hit the cinema? there's a feature showing that i've been hearing about'
2. 'i think we'll head to the restaurant. i'm quite famished as it is'

11

you place the two items on your table-top and give a sincere thank you, well-knowing that you're probably not going to touch the chocolates. ever. maybe it'll make a nice present for your someone at work or you could keep it in the fridge and pop it out when you have guests over.

you have a brief staring contest with the man, and breaking the silence, you suggest where to head now:

1. off to the movies!
2. it's time to get some chow, to the restaurant we go.

10

the insincerity in your voice scrapes against the pitter-patter of rain outside, much like a fresh piece of chalk on one of those old blackboards you had in high-school. attempted honesty is not your forte, and it clearly shows as your date realises his mistake in not choosing something sweeter. (deduct one romance point from your current score. if you have not seen a message similar to this before, you start out at 0 points, and now have a grand total of -1).

as you place the roses and box of chocolates on your counter, you make a decision as to where you both should head, now.

1. will it be a restaurant
2. or will it be to the movies?

9

you curtly ask your date to wait for a minute as you dash upstairs and ready yourself. clearly you are now holding the upper hand in this situation, and you decide to make full use of it. readying yourself as much as you can, you are done in about an hour - as you make yourself down to the living room you can clearly see the amazement on his face as you slowly grace down the stairs, every agile step in a waltz-like tempo, that mezmerises your date such that he does not realise his jaw dropping. (add one romance point to your current total).

continue, now, to dazzle your date, as you step out the doorway, leading him on with not even the slightest indication that he's going to get lucky tonight.

1. would you reckon a fancy restaurant might add to the atmosphere?
2. or are you in the mood for a movie?

8

your date is clearly unimpressed with your inaptitude and chortles as he opens the door for you. (deduct one romance point from your current score. if you have not seen an indication such as this before, you start out with 0 points and your current score is -1).

curse your luck as you exit the doorway. maybe you'll have better luck once you get a conversation rolling...

7

as you step out into the dank street, the rain steps up a notch and by any means of definition, 'raining cats and dogs' would be much preferable to this. you lock your door silently, and only the creak of the hinges is heard against the background of torrential rain. as your date opens up his umbrella and beckons you under, you notice that he is slightly detached, probably put off by your prodigal use of borrowed time. you make up your mind to redeem yourself as you decide what to do next.

while your date remains silent, do you decide:
1. to keep it casual, and head for the nearest starbucks.
2. that you're hungry as a fat chick on the atkins diet.
3. that there's a movie playing at the local cinema that's to die for (although you can't remember which it is).

6

as you reach the bottom of the stairs, he looks at you nervously,

'ummm, you've got a little something on your, uh...'

as he gestures to his face, making a circle around his well built cheek-bones, up to his hazel eyes and back down to his little stubble.

obviously referring to your now-horribaddible make-up, he hands you his handkerchief. however, he seems content that you haven't wasted more time than you already have, and smiles warmly as he leads the way out your door, walking slowly to allow you the opportunity to fix your make-up as you scramble to open your latchable-mirror in your purse. (add one romance point to your current score - if you have not met an indication such as this before, you start off at 0, and now have +1 points).

both of you step out the door, into the rain, which is now giving way to a patchwork of sunbeams, slitting through the dreary clouds. things are looking up, and as you dabble the last remnants of mascara off your cheeks, so do you, and you finally get a look at your date's face with sufficient time to take it all in.

1. do you suggest that you head on down to starbucks, where you were initially meant to meet
2. or do you forgo the idea, since you're already late, and risk a bit more of a serious leap, and suggest you head to the cinema a few blocks down
3. alternatively, you are pretty famished, so you're going to suggest both of you grab something to eat at a restaurant you've been eying for some time

5

you take 'a minute' to put on make-up and before you realise it, half an hour has passed. yeap, that wristwatch is still broken and no magic elves have made it work since the last time you checked.

since you're already late, you decide, what the heck, and take another 10 minutes to look extra pretty, then stroll down the stairs to your now-bored-but-still-waiting potential date. the fact that he hasn't taken off is half a miracle in itself, and it's another half of a miracle that he hasn't fallen asleep on your couch.

1. shoes in hand, heading for the door, do you decide to apologise
2. or take the lead and coyly say 'shall we?'

4

apparently, the gods of dating have their eyes set on you today, and he forces a smile, with telltale signs of a sentence forming at the tip of his tongue.

thank. you. sweet. canonical. blunder. jesus.you think to yourself.

and to your surprise, 'sorry for barging in on you like this. i waited at starbucks for an hour or so and thought you might have forgotten, so i made my way here.' forgotten sounds pretty awesome in your head, because it implies that you've got your fair share of dates, and to you, this is just another one for which you couldn't care less. 'besides, your place is just down the street from where we're supposed to meet, so i thought i'd give it a try before i gave you a call.'

(add one romance point, to your starting score of 0, totaling now +1)

1. if you wish to own up, and apologise for being late, continue here.
2. if you would play along with his assumption and exclaim, 'ah, yes. date. i knew i was forgetting something,' click this option.

3

you stare at him for a second, hoping he'll say something. something witty. something funny. something embarrassing. something annoying. just, something. and as he says nothing, the seconds stretch into infinity.

1. if you chose to blurt out an apology, now would be a great time.
2. but, if you wish to wait, you cross your fingers behind your back and hope.

2

yeap, obviously the right thing to do at this point is play the wild-card: the girl's right, and if you want any of this tail, boy you better recognise.

as you invite him in, you notice him giving a slight frown, paired with a 'uhuh' smile and you bet that in his mind's eye, he's rolling them hazel eyes in disbelief (deduct one romance point, which, as you started out with 0, is now -1)

'if you'll just give me a second,' you whisk away to grab your shoes, while simultaneously gesturing him to sit down with one hand and slamming the door shut with another, 'i'll just be a second and we should be set to go.'

you dash upstairs to grab your brand new pradas / d&gs / whatever it is shoes you prefer and as you're passing the hallway downstairs, you realise that you've not put on your make-up, yet.

jesus-freaking-christ, i look like a two-dollar saigon whore.

1. are you going to put on your make-up quickly, before you dash downstairs?
2. or are you just going to wing it?

1

you blush and look downwards at your shoes - drat, you're not even wearing shoes yet - and mumble an apology:

err, i'm sorry, my watch... didn't realise that it was... broken and something happened, i'm not sure what... stuck at four-fifteen... actually, four-seventeen

and in the incoherence of your thoughts, all you can think about is how embarrassing this is, and he probably is already thinking of taking off. at your own doorstep. before the date's even begun. that's an all time new-record low. nice. but just as you're bashing yourself for your bad luck, he jumps in and makes the save:

eh, no worries. happens to me all the time .

and changes the subject faster than you can say 'holy raptor jesus, batman,'

um, here. i got these for you

and hands you the bouquet of flowers, and box of chocolates. your cat-like reflexes (and the fact that you're hungry like an ethiopian red-headed step-child) reach for the box of chocolates first, and as you muster up a smile for the gentleman, you realise that it's a box of dark chocolate -

aw crap, i hate dark chocolate.

and the flowers are - yeap you guessed it - red roses.

oh come on, where has the creativity gone? well, at least he's sweet.

1. do you want to thank him and say 'oh wow, dark chocolate! my favourite'
2. or would you prefer to just say a simple 'thanks' and smile as you accept the gift
3. or would you use the powers of girly-eyes (tm) as you coo 'awwww, you got me roses'.

male

you are greeted with a pearly white smile, a bouquet of flowers, and a box of chocolates in the shape of a heart.

how cliche

you smile sheepishly as you realise that, even though you are the one who's late, he has arrived at your doorstep.

'how the hell did you get my address anyway?' you think to yourself as your mouth says hi, and your arm reaches out to find his.

1. do you wish to apologise for being late, and proceed to explain yourself?
2. or should you pretend that nothing is amiss, and just wing it?
3. or would you prefer to wait for him to make the first response, seeing as he arrived at your place, when you were supposed to meet him down at starbucks, anyway.